If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d ask them?
If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the FIRST thing I’d ask them?
First?! 😂
You seriously think I’m going to have ONE QUESTION?!
Heavens to Betsy Ross! 👽🛸 I’ve got an entire questionnaire prepared before I’m stepping one foot onto that spaceship.
Because let’s think about this. If aliens have figured out how to travel across galaxies, find Earth, dodge all the satellites floating around up there, and land their little UFO somewhere close enough for me to have a conversation with them, then obviously they’re a little more advanced than we are.
So I’m going to need some answers.
First of all…
Are y’all nicer to each other than humans are?
Because if the answer is YES, we’re already off to a fantastic start.
Do y’all mind your own business on your planet? Do you have gossip? Drama? Nosey people? People stirring up crap because they’re bored with their own lives?
Because if the aliens tell me, “No, Christy. Everyone on our planet minds their own business and lives peacefully,” I’m going to say:
WHERE DO I SIGN?! 😂👽
Next question.
Can y’all cure diseases?
Because surely if you can fly across the universe, you’ve figured out some medical stuff we haven’t.
Can you cure cancer? Can you fix diseases we haven’t been able to cure? Can you make people healthier and live longer?
And while we’re discussing this…
Can you keep us young?
Not immortal necessarily. I’m not asking to roam around the universe for 742 years looking like a dried-up raisin.
I mean YOUNG young.
Can we stop somewhere around 35 and just stay there for a while? Healthy skin, good joints, strong bones, no random body parts hurting because we slept wrong?
Because if so, beam me up immediately.
Also…
Can you make us smarter?
And I don’t mean everybody.
Some people need more help than others. 😂
Maybe y’all have some kind of alien intelligence booster you can zap into us because Earth could certainly use a shipment.
At this point, Spirit Water is probably standing beside me whispering:
“Christy… quit asking questions and find out what their planet looks like.”
Excellent point, Spirit Water.
So now we get to the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:
Does your planet have oceans? 🌊
Because THAT could seal the deal.
Tell me about the water.
Is it blue? Turquoise? Crystal clear? Are there beaches? Islands? Palm-tree-looking alien plants? Do y’all have boats?
And MOST IMPORTANTLY…
WHAT KIND OF SHARKS DO YOU HAVE?! 🦈👽
Because if Alien Planet has gorgeous oceans AND some enormous prehistoric-looking space shark swimming around down there, I’m already packing.
Actually, forget packing.
I’ll buy new clothes when I get there.
Spirit Water probably already ordered them online anyway.
And then I’d have to ask the aliens the ultimate question:
“So… can I just go home with y’all?”
Because listen, if their planet is prettier than Earth, everybody is nicer, nobody is nosey, they’ve cured diseases, they can keep me young and healthy, they can make people smarter, AND they have beautiful oceans with alien sharks…
WHY AM I STAYING HERE?! 😂🛸
I’m boarding.
I’ll need a window seat, please.
And I’m bringing Blaze. 🐈
He’ll probably be sitting in my lap staring at these aliens like, Heavens to Betsy Ross, Mother. What have you gotten us into now?
Meanwhile, I’ll be looking out the spaceship window watching Earth get smaller while Spirit Water is somewhere in first class asking the aliens if they have wine on their planet.
And knowing me, about halfway across the galaxy I’ll suddenly think of another question:
“Wait… y’all DO have Wi-Fi, right?”
Because I may be ready to leave Earth…
but I’m not a complete lunatic. 😂👽🛸🌊🦈
Carpe Diem, Earthlings.
If the aliens have oceans, sharks, eternal youth, no drama, and better people…
I’m going. 😂
And if you see a UFO hovering over my house tomorrow, don’t call the authorities.
Just know Spirit Water and I finally found our ride. 👽🛸🥂
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