If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be?

Perms, Mullets & Crimes Against Humanity

If I could erase ONE trend from history, there wouldn’t even be a debate.

PERMS.

MULLETS.

Matter of fact…I’m throwing both of them into the same dumpster fire because they belong together.

Oh, Lort help me, Betsy Ross!

Who woke up one morning and said, “You know what would really make me look irresistible? Let’s chemically fry my hair until it resembles a poodle that stuck its paw in a light socket…and while we’re at it, let’s leave it short in the front and party in the back.”

WHO APPROVED THIS?!

I need names.

There should’ve been a committee.

A town hall meeting.

A signed petition.

A grandmother standing at the salon door yelling, “Absolutely not!”

Instead, an entire generation looked in the mirror and collectively said…

“Yep. That’s the one.”

No, Peeps. No, it was NOT the one.

Perms smelled like a science experiment gone terribly wrong. You’d leave the beauty shop looking like you’d survived a chemical attack, and somehow everyone acted like it was glamorous.

Then somebody looked at a mullet and thought…

“You know what this needs? MORE CURLS.”

Straight to jail.

Business in the front.

Chaos in the back.

Pure confusion all the way around.

And don’t tell me they’re “making a comeback.”

NO.

Some trends deserve a second chance.

Bell bottoms? Sure.

Scrunchies? Fine.

Vintage denim jackets? Love ’em.

But perms and mullets?

Those two need to stay locked in the history books beside powdered wigs and leeches.

If I ever walk into a salon and someone asks, “Are we thinking perm today?”

I’m grabbing my purse, my keys, my emotional support iced coffee, and sprinting to the parking lot like I’m escaping a zombie apocalypse.

If someone says, “What about a mullet?”

Heavens to Betsy Ross and the entire Revolutionary War…I’m loading a musket and defending my follicles!

Some trends are timeless.

Some trends are questionable.

And then there are perms and mullets…

…the Bonnie and Clyde of bad hair decisions.

So here’s my public service announcement:

Protect your bangs.

Protect your dignity.

Protect future generations.

And if anyone even whispers the words perm or mullet around you…

Run.

Run like your hair depends on it.

Because it absolutely does.

As I always say…You Only Live Once. Spend those years looking fabulous—not like a startled sheep with a business meeting at 9:00 and a monster truck rally at 5:00.

Carpe Diem…and save the hair.