The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

The 3 Objects I Can’t Live Without

(A Completely Serious and Highly Documented Essay)

If I had to narrow my entire existence down to three essential life-sustaining objects, they would be:

Wine The Rents Music

And honestly, they’re all equally responsible for my personality.

🍷 Object #1: Wine (a.k.a. My Creative Director)

Wine is not just a beverage. Wine is a lifestyle. Wine is a business partner. Wine is the reason my alter ego, Spirit Water, has a full-time job.

Spirit Water shows up somewhere between “just one glass” and “let’s book a cruise and start a podcast.”

She has:

Confidence Volume Zero fear Strong opinions Questionable coordination

Wine gives me liquid courage. Wine fuels the documentation. Wine brings the storytelling. Wine creates the Google receipts.

Because when Janeto (my mother) says something wildly confident but slightly inaccurate, I simply whisper:

“Hold on.”

Airplane mode goes off.

Google activates.

Receipts are gathered.

Case presented.

Spirit Water thrives in these moments.

Without wine, there would be no circus. Just a quiet living room. And we don’t do quiet.

👨 Object #2: The Rents (Live Entertainment Division)

Dad: Chief Sarcasm Officer

My father’s commentary could rival a late-night host. If sarcasm were an Olympic sport, he’d podium.

He delivers:

One-liners Eye rolls Perfect timing Unsolicited but hilarious commentary

His tone alone deserves its own streaming service.

Janeto: Executive Director of Commentary on Everything

My mother has a thought about:

Weather Politics Airline procedures What strangers are wearing What I’m wearing Why Google is “probably wrong”

She is confident. She is committed. She is rarely uncertain.

Which is why Google exists in my household as a neutral third party.

It’s a three-ring circus:

Dad with the sarcasm Janeto with the commentary Me with the wine and Wi-Fi

And somehow… it works.

🎶 Object #3: Music (The Soundtrack to the Madness)

Music is not optional in this house. It is essential.

Wine without music is just grape juice with ambition.

Music sets the scene:

Kitchen dance parties Cruise ship flashbacks Bartending shifts that turn into concerts Spirit Water’s main character moments

Depending on the night, I may believe I’m:

Whitney Houston belting from the kitchen island Shania Twain while dramatically pouring a second glass Or channeling Beyoncé during a motivational speech no one asked for

Music turns a normal Tuesday into a world tour.

It turns cruise memories into cinematic flashbacks.

It gives Spirit Water her entrance song.

And frankly, it makes The Rents more tolerable and more entertaining.

In Conclusion (for Documentation Purposes)

My three life essentials:

🍷 Wine – for creativity and courage

👨‍👩‍👧 The Rents – for nonstop entertainment and sarcasm

🎶 Music – for drama, energy, and main-character moments

Together, we have:

A three-ring circus Photo evidence Google receipts Cruise stories Bartending legends And Spirit Water running production

The world is a better place for all of it.

And if you ever hear music blasting, Google being cited, and someone confidently wrong in the background…

Just know.

The circus is in session. 🍷🎶