The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

🚙🚢✈️ “How We Travel: Chaos, Cruises, and Collecting Evidence”

If I ever say I’m going on a “cross-country trip,” let me go ahead and translate that for you.

It does NOT mean I’m hopping in the car with snacks and a cute playlist, driving coast to coast like I’m in a coming-of-age movie.

Oh no.

It means I will:

Drive exactly one hour to the airport (because that is my limit) Get on an airplane ✈️ And then—most importantly—end up on a cruise ship 🚢

Because… that’s just what we do.

Mom, Dad, and me. The traveling circus.

First of all, let’s talk about the flight.

The flight is not just transportation. It is a documentation opportunity.

I need:

Google receipts ✔️ Photos ✔️ Proof that I, in fact, left Alabama ✔️

Because one day, all of this is going into a book. And I will not be questioned about the accuracy of my storytelling.

Then we arrive at the main event: the cruise.

We are, proudly and unapologetically, Royal Caribbean people.

Why?

Because my mom LOVES a cruise.

And also… we gamble like it’s our part-time job, so we end up with free cruises and perks. Drinks, rooms, benefits—we’ve basically leveled up like it’s a video game.

Now let me introduce the cast of characters.

🎤 Mom: The Unfiltered Critic

My mom does not believe in inside thoughts.

She will:

Comment on EVERYTHING Comment on EVERYONE Say it LOUD And not care even a little bit

And at every single meal—without fail—her food is:

“Not right” “Not what I ordered” “Cooked wrong” Or just… offensive somehow

100% success rate.

Bless the waiters. Bless the chefs. Bless anyone within earshot.

🙄 Dad: The Sarcastic Sidekick

Then there’s my dad.

He communicates primarily through:

Eye rolls Perfectly timed sarcasm One-liners that come out of nowhere

And somehow… he just keeps getting better.

Like, sir?? Where are you getting this material??

🍹 Me: The Peacekeeper/Bartender

And me?

I’m just over here like:

“Y’all hug it out.” “Be nice.” “Do we need another drink??”

Because yes, I am also the on-call bartender of the family.

It’s a full-time position. No benefits. High stress.

But honestly… this is why our trips are so funny.

Every cruise turns into:

A comedy show A food critique panel A sarcasm competition And a memory I absolutely have to write down

Because one day, this will be a book. And people will think I exaggerated.

I did not.

🌍 But Also… My Dream Trip

Now don’t get me wrong—I love our chaos cruises.

BUT.

One day, I want to do something a little different.

I want to:

Fly to Europe ✈️ Take trains from country to country 🚆 Eat amazing food Drink incredible wine 🍷 See beautiful beaches and scenery Meet people along the way And write about all of it

Like… can you imagine??

That’s definitely on the bucket list.

🚆 Bonus Dream: Wine Train Across America

Also, I would 100% love to travel across America by train.

Why?

Because:

You can actually see the country It’s relaxing And most importantly…

You can sip wine and not worry about driving.

Which feels like a lifestyle choice I could fully commit to.

So yes—my version of “travel” may not be traditional.

But it is:

Loud Hilarious Slightly chaotic And full of stories

And honestly?

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

…except maybe a train ride through Europe with a glass of wine in my hand 🍷😉