The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

My Highly Scientific (and Slightly Wine-Fueled) Strategies for Dealing with Negative Feelings

Let’s be honest—life isn’t always sunshine, rainbows, and perfectly chilled wine. Sometimes things go wrong. People disappoint you. Plans fall apart. And occasionally you wake up already feeling like the universe owes you a nap and a snack.

But over the years, I’ve developed a few “strategies” for handling negative feelings. I say “strategies” because they sound much more professional than “things I tell myself so I don’t lose my mind.”

Here’s my personal plan.

1. The Glass Is Half Full…Always

I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of person. Not because life has always been easy—but because the alternative just sounds exhausting.

If the glass is half empty, that means you’re walking around all day looking for problems. And honestly, who has the energy for that? I’d rather assume something good is around the corner. Worst case scenario, I’m wrong. Best case scenario, I enjoy the journey a whole lot more.

2. Control What You Can (Ignore the Rest)

This one is huge.

There are about a million things in life we can’t control: other people’s opinions, the weather, traffic, politics, and the person who decided meetings should exist.

But there are a few things we can control:

Our attitude Our effort Our reactions Whether or not we order dessert

So I try to focus on those things and let the rest go. Worrying about things you can’t control is like trying to herd cats…while blindfolded.

3. Choose Your Circle Wisely

Your circle matters. A lot.

The people you surround yourself with influence your mood, your mindset, and sometimes your decisions. If you spend all your time around negativity, drama, and bad attitudes… guess what? That stuff rubs off.

But when you’re around positive, encouraging, supportive people, life just feels lighter.

So I keep my circle fairly small and very intentional. Good people. Kind people. People who laugh easily and don’t create unnecessary chaos.

Because life is too short for bad energy.

4. Smile Anyway

Even on tough days, I try to smile. Not in a fake, everything-is-perfect way—but in a “this moment won’t last forever” kind of way.

We only get one life. One shot at all of this. And I refuse to spend it constantly upset about things that won’t matter five years from now… or sometimes five days from now.

So smile. Even when things are messy.

Especially when things are messy.

5. Love Your People Well

At the end of the day, the things that matter most are the people in your life. Your family. Your friends. The ones who show up, laugh with you, cry with you, and celebrate the good moments.

Life moves fast, and those relationships are the real treasure.

So love them well. Tell them often.

6. And When All Else Fails…Wine and Travel

Finally, we come to the most advanced coping strategy on my list.

Wine. And travel.

Sometimes the best way to reset your perspective is to sit somewhere beautiful with people you love and a glass of wine in your hand. Or to get on a plane, see something new, and remember how big and interesting the world really is.

Fresh scenery does wonders for the soul.

Final Thoughts

So my strategic plan for negative feelings looks something like this:

Keep the glass half full Control what you can Let go of what you can’t Choose your circle wisely Smile often Love your people Drink good wine Travel whenever possible

It may not be a perfect system, but it works pretty well for me.

And if nothing else… at least there’s wine. 🍷