The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

The Experiences That Grew Me the Most (Whether I Approved of Them or Not)

If you had told me years ago what would grow me the most, I would’ve given you something polished and respectable.

“Motherhood.”

“My career.”

“Serving others.”

And yes, those things shaped me.

But if we’re being honest?

The experiences that grew me the most were the ones I did not volunteer for. The ones that knocked the wind out of me and said, “Alright. Let’s see what you’re made of.”

Divorce After 26 Years — The Plot Twist I Didn’t Order

Twenty-six years.

That’s not a relationship. That’s a lifetime membership with auto-renewal.

Did I want a divorce? Absolutely not.

Did I see myself starting over at this stage of life? No ma’am.

Did it change me? Completely.

Divorce strips everything down. It forces you to look at yourself without distraction.

You find out real quick:

What you’ve tolerated. What you should have never tolerated. What you actually want the rest of your life to look like. And what you will never sign up for again.

I had my hermit season. Silence. Reflection. Talking to God. Talking to myself. Rebuilding from the inside out. Probably reorganizing closets that didn’t need reorganizing.

But when I came out of that season, I wasn’t bitter.

I was clear.

Clear is powerful.

Clear doesn’t beg.

Clear doesn’t chase.

Clear doesn’t ignore red flags and call them “potential.”

Clear walks away.

Dating Since 2014 — A Social Experiment I Did Not Volunteer For

I started dating in 2014 thinking, “We’re grown adults. This should be simple.”

Bless my heart.

What happened to men?

Let’s talk about the modern dating world for a minute.

Men talking to multiple women at the same time — and then lying about it.

Sir.

You are not managing a portfolio.

If you want convenience and options with zero commitment, just say that. But don’t pretend you’re “looking for something real” while juggling half the county.

And the ghosting?

You send a text.

You see it’s been read.

And then nothing.

Just sitting there on “Read” like a digital monument to immaturity.

Be considerate.

But they don’t know how to.

It makes my head hurt.

We are not teenagers. If you’re not interested, say that. If you’re entertaining three other women, say that. If you want access without responsibility, say that.

The dishonesty is what’s wild.

So many men want:

Attention Companionship Someone to fill time Emotional support

But they don’t want:

Consistency Accountability Real commitment Or effort

They want all the benefits with none of the responsibility.

And I am not signing up for that.

I am NOT wasting my time.

Not after 26 years.

Not after rebuilding my life.

Not after learning what peace actually feels like.

Because here’s the truth:

I can take myself to dinner.

I can sit at home in peace.

I can run miles and clear my head.

I can build my life without confusion blowing up my phone.

And I can travel the world with my family, make memories, laugh until we cry, and enjoy this season of life without drama weighing me down.

Peace is not boring.

Peace is freedom.

Not Everyone Is Your Friend

And while we’re talking about growth…

Everybody smiling at you is not for you.

Everybody clapping for you doesn’t mean it.

And if someone talks about others in front of you?

You are absolutely on that list when you walk away.

So now I listen more than I speak.

I observe.

I don’t overshare.

I don’t explain myself unnecessarily.

I don’t react quickly.

Because people will show you who they are.

And once they do? I believe them.

No speeches. No drama. Just quiet adjustments.

The Mic Drop

Here’s what all of this has taught me:

I don’t chase.

I don’t compete.

I don’t beg for clarity.

And I definitely don’t argue for basic respect.

If a man leaves me on read, he can stay there.

If someone wants convenience, they can find it elsewhere.

If people show me who they are, I don’t try to rewrite the script.

I choose peace.

I choose clarity.

I choose standards.

And if that narrows the field down to almost nobody?

That’s fine.

Because I would rather sit alone in my calm, drama-free life — traveling, building, laughing, living — than entertain confusion one more day.

I have already taken that class.

I passed it.

And I am not enrolling again.

Strong women don’t repeat lessons.

They revise their standards.

🎤 And with that… I’m setting the mic down and walking away.