The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

My Approach to Budgeting: Adulting First, Shenanigans Second

Let me just start by saying this: I am a responsible adult.

I pay my bills first.

Yes, all of them.

Because I enjoy electricity. I’m quite fond of running water. And I am deeply, spiritually committed to WiFi.

No WiFi means:

No TV No online shopping (which, frankly, is a public safety issue) No writing wildly unnecessary blog posts about my cat No documenting my chaotic daily happenings or travel adventures

And we simply cannot have that.

So step one of my budgeting plan is simple: Keep the lights on and the internet flowing. I am not trying to live in Little House on the Prairie. I need power. I need water. And I absolutely need WiFi so I can function as a modern human and overshare properly.

Step Two: Grocery Budget = Pasta & Wine Budget

Now let’s talk food.

I absolutely must budget for my vegetarian cooking adventures. This is non-negotiable. A girl has to eat. Preferably pasta.

Mostly pasta.

Honestly, I think I should be Italian. And I say that with full confidence because I love pasta and wine so much that it just feels right. It’s in my spirit. It’s in my grocery cart. It’s in my pantry in three different noodle shapes at all times.

There is something deeply therapeutic about:

Dramatically tossing noodles into boiling water Sautéing garlic like I’ve been doing this my whole life Stirring sauce with passion Adding “just a little more” Parmesan (which is never just a little)

And I always have a glass of red wine in my hand while cooking and preparing my dishes. Always.

If I’m not holding a glass of red while stirring pasta sauce, something is off. The energy is wrong. The flavor is questionable. The ancestors (whoever they are) would be disappointed.

Cooking without red wine in hand?

It would simply not be right.

Step Three: Travel Budget = Cruise Chaos Fund

Now here’s a very important line item:

Cruises with my parents.

These are not optional. These are investments in future storytelling material.

If I didn’t go on cruises with them, how would I:

Document my mom’s daily dramatic performances? Translate my dad’s perfectly timed sarcastic one-liners? Serve as the unofficial onboard bartender saving the real bartenders from my mother’s high standards?

Because let’s be honest.

The bartenders are doing their best.

But sometimes… they need backup.

That’s where I come in.

I am basically cruise staff at this point.

And then there are the waiters.

Oh, bless their hearts.

According to my mom, they NEVER get her breakfast right.

They NEVER get her dinner right.

It is NEVER exactly how she ordered it.

Never.

Sometimes, I feel the need to apologize in advance before she even arrives.

I’ll quietly lean in and say,

“Listen… it’s not you. Just go with it. I’m so sorry in advance.”

I have become a preemptive apology specialist.

Cruises are less vacation and more performance art.

And honestly? I wouldn’t trade it. Because the stories? Absolute gold.

Step Four: Wine Therapy & Kitchen Nightclub

Back home, we return to my regularly scheduled programming.

Music blasting.

One hand holding a glass of red.

The other hand wielding a spoon or spatula like I’m headlining a cooking show.

Except someone is always watching.

Blaze.

Step Five: The Blaze Budget (Head Chef & Supervisor)

Let’s be clear. Blaze is not just a cat.

Blaze is management.

He supervises the entire kitchen experience with the intensity of Gordon Ramsay — minus the yelling, but absolutely with the judgment.

He monitors:

My pasta water ratio My seasoning decisions My wine refills My dance moves

And when I call him Scooby, it’s because he runs through the house and slides across the hardwood floors exactly like Scooby-Doo chasing a clue. Dramatic. Chaotic. Slightly uncoordinated. Magnificent.

Now, budgeting for Blaze is non-negotiable.

He requires:

Wet food (premium, obviously) His beloved “Blazey Snacks” (Scooby Snacks) Emergency backup snacks Backup backup snacks

These snacks are sacred.

He zooms. He slides. He supervises.

Then he looks at me like,

“Where are my snacks, woman?”

And honestly? He’s right.

The Truth About My Budget

If we’re being honest, my budget has five main priorities:

Survival – Utilities, bills, WiFi. We enjoy comfort. Sustenance – Vegetarian groceries, a pasta collection that rivals a small trattoria, and a steady supply of red wine. Sanity – Retail therapy and kitchen dance parties. Cruise Chaos Fund – Travel with my parents so I can gather fresh material and serve as onboard crisis management. Supreme Ruler Funding – Blaze’s food and Scooby-level snack reserves.

Because here’s the reality:

Blaze owns me.

My mom runs the cruise ship.

My dad provides the commentary.

And I’m just out here trying to keep the WiFi on and the wine glass full.

And honestly?

That feels like financial wellness to me. 🍝🍷🚢🐈‍⬛🎶