The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

The To-Do List That Will Never Be Done

Everyone has that to-do list. You know the one. The list that stares at you every day like, “We both know you’re not touching me.”

For me? Two things live on that list permanently: the garage and my closet.

Let’s start with the garage.

I hate the garage to-do list. Hate it with my whole heart.

First of all, it’s full of my kids’ crap. And no, they don’t live here anymore. And no, they won’t come get it. Apparently they don’t want their clutter… cluttering their clutter. Imagine that.

Now I’m trying to sell my house and declutter, and their stuff is just sitting out there like it pays rent. At this point, I feel like if they haven’t claimed it, it’s officially trash. Or a donation. Or fuel for my mental breakdown. One of the three.

But here’s the real reason the garage hasn’t been tackled:

I am terrified of snakes.

Not just snakes—no shoulders. That’s what I call them. And I hate them more than anything on this earth. If I opened that garage and saw one, I wouldn’t run… I’d levitate. I’d be on the ceiling like a cat, nails dug in, screaming. Honestly, I’d throw the deed to the house at it and say, “Congratulations, it’s yours.”

So yes, I need to clean out the garage.

But do I want to? Absolutely not.

Now let’s talk about the closet.

The never-ending project.

Closets are a daily maintenance situation. If you skip one day, chaos wins. I’ll go in there to pick out clothes, stand around for ten minutes unable to decide, and suddenly Blaze shows up like he’s my personal stylist—sitting in the floor, staring out the window, supervising.

Then I forget he’s in there.

I close the door.

And life moves on.

A while later, I’m yelling his name, walking around the house thinking, Where is that crazy cat?! I start retracing my steps like I’m in a crime documentary. What doors did I open? What doors did I close?

It’s always the closet.

Always.

I open the door and there he is, just standing there like, Really?

Meanwhile, he’s left his vampire teeth marks on my Tory Burch shoes. Never fails. Not once.

So yes… those are my two forever to-do lists:

The garage that may or may not contain a snake that could ruin my life And the closet that doubles as a cat trap and shoe crime scene

Will I conquer them?

Maybe.

But probably not today.🐈‍⬛🐾