The Mid Life Dating Files 2025

What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

I’ve set many personal goals throughout my life—some I’ve reached, some I’ve struggled with—but the hardest one came after my divorce. After 24 years of marriage, I made a promise to myself that I would stay single for a while, to rebuild who I was and learn how to stand on my own.

When I got married at 20, I went straight from my parents’ house to college, then to marriage and motherhood. I never had the experience of living alone or managing everything by myself. So when my marriage ended, I suddenly had to figure out how to do it all—paying bills, handling household expenses, making every decision on my own. It was overwhelming at first.

Thankfully, my dad was there to help me through those early days—lessons I probably should’ve learned in my twenties, but instead had to face in my forties. It was humbling and hard, but it also changed me. I learned that I could rely on myself, that I was capable, and that I didn’t need anyone to define or complete me.

I don’t regret any of it, because that time in my life gave me my greatest blessings—two amazing, intelligent, and successful children I’m endlessly proud of. Now, at almost 54, I’m content being independent. I don’t need someone to take care of me or tell me what to do—I already have a dad. What I want now is simply someone to share life’s moments with, not to depend on, but to walk beside.

Choosing independence—learning to stand on my own, love myself, and build a life on my terms—has been one of the hardest and most transformative goals I’ve ever set for myself.